This question has featured before, but I've decided it's necessary to devote this topic to its own, easy-to-find post. This has been edited and includes some additions.
Q: How should I approach an escort/try to book someone?
A: This may seem obvious to many readers, but for some, it is a nerve-wracking process. However, I’ve actually been asked to answer this question several times, and from sheer experience, I know that there is a lack of knowledge around this issue. I think that there are many things in the sex industry that we either take for granted or assume that everyone should know, but there’s no education or passing along of knowledge for many people! If you don’t ask, you can’t be expected to be familiar with the process.
When you ask for an appointment with a sex worker, the important thing to remember is that they are choosing you as much as you are choosing them. That's why it's called a booking "request". This is a two way street. In the sex industry, the customer is not always right.
The point of making an enquiry with a sex worker is three fold.
1. To secure a booking.
Like any appointment, you need to ask for one so you can actually get one.
2. To pass the worker's screening.
Every interaction you have with a sex worker is part of the screening process. Even after you've met us! If you want to meet me, I will screen you and decide if that's going to happen.
3. To get you what you want.
The related effects of quality, respectful interaction with a sex worker are immeasurable. If you make me feel comfortable, at ease, and make my job easier, I'm going to like you, and that's going to make your booking a whole lot better. If you treat me well, I will treat you even better.
Here are some examples of how NOT to approach/email/text/DM a sex worker:
“Hi Lara. Can I see you?”
- Yes. That’s why I’m advertising.
"Hi Lara, are you available?"
- Yes. That's why I'm advertising.
“Hi Lara. When are you available?”
- See my website, or give me some kind of timeframe - today, this afternoon, this week, etc.
“What’s your availability?”
- How long is a piece of string? On what day/s? In the evenings? For the weekend?
“What’s your service like?/Do you kiss?/Do you offer natural/Do you do anal/Do you do x y z”
- See my website.
“Hi Lara. I’m in Sydney next week. I’d like to see you. John.”
- When are you in Sydney? When would you like to see me? For how long?
“Hi Lara. Can I see you on Friday?”
- When? Morning, afternoon, evening? Where? For how long?
"Are you available at 3pm?"
- For how long? I might be available for an hour, but busy after that. I need to know how long you want.
Don’t even dream of this type of approach, many escorts won’t bother to reply at all:
“R u avail?”
"hey babe i'm hot fit 25 yr old euro guy when r u free"
(N.B. The above are all examples of text messages I have personally received. Yes. Even the last few. Seriously.)
Some ladies won’t reply to enquiries featuring text spelling and/or poor spelling and grammar. Few ladies will reply to rude or crass enquiries. Do not:
- send a photo of your genitalia
- describe your genitalia, specifying how big it is and how satisfying it will be to her
- include a request for a discount
- say she should discount her rate as you will give her the time of her life
- send a request detailing your plan to meet her, but not pay her, as you are “just lookin 4 a gud time”.
Many of these approaches are (irritatingly) common, but let me assure you, they do not work. You will be passed over for someone who is respectful.
So, what should an enquiry look like?
Key booking details that should be in your enquiry include:
- MANNERS! (number one! Without these, your enquiry may go unanswered altogether)
- your NAME
- the DATE / DAY you would like
- the TIME you would like
- the DURATION of appointment you would like
Other information that may be best to disclose in the initial enquiry could be:
- any essential infomation the worker needs to know about - e.g. the number one service you're interested in, if you're looking for certain fetish play, if you have a particular disability that they would need to know about, anything you think might need to be disclosed at this stage
Here is an ideal, dreamboat, and sexy approach. First, two things:
Read the worker’s ad or website. If there’s something specific you’re looking for, look for it. Find the information and take note. If it’s not there, ask in your contact. She has taken a lot of time to write the copy on her profile or site, and it won’t take you long to do a quick read through to locate the details you need.
Choose the method of contact the worker specifies in her ad or on her website, if possible. If not, just be polite in the manner in which you can contact her. If you're calling, make sure your number is not coming up as private. Most workers don't answer them and if they do they will usually ask you to call back from an unblocked number.
This is a sample email that is ideal. It could easily be amended slightly for text message or for phone call purposes.
My name is John.
[Basic polite introduction. Insert something pleasant or complimentary here if you like: and I love your website/photos/blog/writing]
I will be in Sydney next week and was hoping to meet with you for an outcall
[This way I know if you want an incall or an outcall - this is important for my scheduling purposes]
either on Tuesday the 3rd or Wednesday the 4th
[If you have them, presenting the lady with options can be helpful, but it's not essential]
at around 7pm for two hours.
I am staying at the Intercontinental.
[Now I know where the outcall is to, I can now decide if I can accept or not - it also is reassuring when clients are open about where they are staying and builds trust]
[Insert any preferences here: I love suspenders and would love for you to wear some black lingerie with stockings/bring some toys/pour custard all over me in the shower OR I have this particular disability OR anything in particular that the worker needs to know.]
Looking forward to hearing back from you.
You can feel free, of course, to add in some of your own personality here, but that’s a good, basic outline.
This is a sample text message that is ideal.
"Hi Lara, my name is Peter. I was wondering if you would be available to meet at 4pm on Wednesday for a two hour incall. Thank you."
An alternative could be:
"Hi Lara, I was wondering if you would be available to meet at 4pm Wednesday 5th, or 11am Thursday 6th, for a 2 hour incall. You can reach me on this number anytime today/before 6pm/via text only."
These type of approach will get you the quickest reply (partially simply because the nature of your request has given your chosen lover all the information she requires to reply as soon as she can), and also, as you probably are hoping, a booking, quick smart. The lady will also be in raptures over how fabulous you just were and how great she now imagines you will likely be in the booking. The initial booking process is really very important – she chooses who she sees. You have the power here to set the tone for your appointment with her.
Please feel most welcome to ask for clarification on any of the above points, I am very happy to answer any questions on the subject!